If I’m really that honest, will he still like me?
I can’t offer to help people because I don’t even have my shit together so I feel like trying to help is an awful idea.
“Why won’t she let me help her?” I wonder as I completely sidestep anyone who tries to help me
It’s not that I don’t understand the concept of love.
I think I do.
When you love someone you want the best for them and you want them to be happy and you hope you can facilitate that happiness.
Right? That’s my starting point for what love is.
I basically get how it translates to friend/family love. Being there for them, listening to them, helping them through stuff, laughing with them, just hanging out, being silly with them. It’s an unspoken promise that they can call you anyime about anything.
But then with a significant other… What does it mean? I don’t think it means all that plus sex. Because that would mean marriage and the family structure wouldn’t be important. And I think life has shown us that one’s family structure has a big impact on one’s life.
So what is that kind of love? It’s not thinking your S.O. is the very bestest in the whole wide world. You shouldn’t blind yourself to someone’s faults. You should love them anyway even though you know they have faults.
So what does it mean to be in love? And why is that preposition important?
I understand so much in theory, and nothing in reality.
I don’t actually have words in my vocabulary to reciprocate affection.
Subsequently, I make a lot of silly analogies and try to avoid telling my boyfriend how much I like him.
Sometimes I feel like I don’t want to deal with me and I don’t want to make other people deal with me
But telling someone “Don’t like me, go away” is like saying “you have bad taste in people” which is rude and mean and not 100% true.
n. the glint of goodness inside people, which you can only find by sloshing them back and forth in your mind until everything dark and gray and common falls away, leaving behind a constellation at the bottom of the pan—a rare element trapped in exposed bedrock, washed there by a storm somewhere upstream.